so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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