We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
