Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
