Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i think my cat just said my name.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
