This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize