dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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