Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
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