THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
