so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
