this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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