so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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