you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Do vagina's smell?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
