I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
