She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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