im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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