Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
this just has baby written all over it
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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