Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
