He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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