yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
