I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
