Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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