Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
