Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
