He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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