I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
