when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
