I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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