She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
