This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize