who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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