he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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