somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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