im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize