i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize