My liver just broke up with me...
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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