I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
