everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
