don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
