i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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