OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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