So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
