i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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