Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
