On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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