I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
