after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
