He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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