I need to stop coming to work sober
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
A+ Viking dick
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
