I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize