I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
