I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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