you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
