Sponge bath it is.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
