Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize