There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
