I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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