thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize