I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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