Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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