at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
