we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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