WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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