I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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