My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if only i could text you this smell
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
