so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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