I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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