you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
