I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
