you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
