You don't have asthma, your pregnant
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
