We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize