Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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